


young and tragic

by rogueshadows



Series: Flowers Grow Out of My Grave [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, ghost - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-19 23:53:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13134816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogueshadows/pseuds/rogueshadows
Summary: Continuation of my Halloween ghost Bodhi disaster, it's sad and I'm sorry. Very loosely for sniperpilotwinter because the event is actually getting me to write more!





	young and tragic

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to evaagna for betaing this! :D

The weather warnings and apologetic delay announcements are all it takes to lull Cassian to sleep. After only four hours rest and three hours waiting, he can’t be blamed. As it happens, Cassian is half sliding out of the chair with his neck at an awkward angle by the time he feels the soft nudge at his shoulder. He groans, squinting in the too-bright fluorescent light of the bustling terminal as Bodhi settles back into the seat beside him. Cassian blinks unhappily at Bodhi in response to being woken, wishing momentarily that they had stayed home, wanting nothing more than to crawl back into bed. Beyond his exhaustion he feels something he can’t quite place...washed away at the sound of Bodhi’s voice.

“You’d hate me if I let you sleep like that,” Bodhi says apologetically, holding out a hot coffee as a peace offering. Cassian yawns and sits up, stretching out the kink in his lower back. He accepts the coffee, gratefully taking a sip with a sigh. He and Bodhi have been at the airport for hours already and it is beginning to look like the entire day will be spent like this, fitfully resting and hoping for a better update from the harried airline attendants.

Bodhi doesn’t look bothered, simply looking at Cassian in that soft and amused way that always throws Cassian for a loop. 

“I can’t believe we got up so early for this,” Cassian murmurs, though it’s hard to feel truly annoyed with Bodhi looking so relaxed. Bodhi makes a sound of agreement, sliding close and linking his fingers with Cassian’s free hand. Cassian brushes his thumb across Bodhi’s knuckles, a soft smile tugging at his lips. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees the weather report playing out, the stretch of green and pink swirling to overtake their area on the map. It doesn’t offer much hope. Bodhi follows Cassian’s gaze and bites his lip.

“It has to clear eventually...possibly not for a few hours though,” Bodhi says.

“I bet the plane would get here faster if you were flying,” Cassian complains to Bodhi, who laughs bright and shakes his head. Cassian knows Bodhi almost has enough flight hours to do it, so it’s just a matter of time until an airline would snap him up.

“Not even I can control the weather,” Bodhi says, settling back into his seat and leaving their fingers linked. 

“Not with that attitude,” Cassian says dryly and Bodhi rolls his eyes even though he’s smiling.

“If all else fails, we could try our luck driving instead,” Bodhi suggests, shifting as close as he can to Cassian with the annoying armrest between them. Bodhi still rests his head against Cassian’s shoulder despite the barrier and Cassian slides down a bit in his seat to better accommodate him. Cassian knows he must be exhausted too, nervous energy waning after so many hours of sitting with so little to do.

“Kay would be excited to see us so soon at least,” Cassian answers, brushing his thumb over the back of Bodhi’s knuckles in a soft movement. The dog back home would jump on them like it had been a year no matter when they showed up back at the house. Instead of joking back Bodhi’s face shifts into something more sincere.

“Not as excited as I am for the trip, meeting your parents, and well, everything. I just really want things to go well,” Bodhi admits, sounding a bit nervous after all. Cassian knows how much he means it, remembering how he’d lit up when Cassian first asked him to come on the trip. They’ve only been dating since October and it’s probably too soon, but Cassian doesn’t feel hesitant at all, knowing without doubt that his family will love Bodhi.

“Of course it will, just taking a bit longer to get there...more time for my mom to fuss over the house being clean,” Cassian says, squeezing Bodhi’s hand reassuringly. Bodhi smiles and it makes Cassian’s heart feel too full. Cassian gives into the urge he’s had since Bodhi woke him, tilting his head to taste the happiness on Bodhi’s lips. Bodhi presses back, soft and sure and Cassian grins back into the kiss before they break apart. Cassian wants so badly to lean in again, let love swallow him whole. Instead, Cassian reaches up to brush a hand along Bodhi’s jaw...unsure of why he feels so suddenly desperate, why there’s something echoing in his mind to _hold on_ yet again. Bodhi presses a kiss against his palm and it draws him out of the thought.

“We should keep doing that,” Bodhi says, “but I’m afraid we’d be an unwelcome distraction the other people waiting to board.”

“We could go somewhere and fool around, you know...mile high club, is that what they call it?” Cassian mock whispers and Bodhi snorts.

“Cassian... _no_. Besides, that doesn’t count if we’re still on the ground,” Bodhi breathes, unable to hold back another laugh. Cassian looks at him, wanting still, and Bodhi sighs.

“I thought you were tired anyway, it’s only 9 AM…” Bodhi adds, tone rife with just enough amusement that Cassian knows he could convince him to tuck away somewhere if he really wanted. Neither of them are exhibiitionists, but there have been a few times that got close to indecent...most notably between the stacks at the library when he was closing, the same heady want and affection like bliss between them. Now, it feels like the wrong moment somehow, time speeding up awkwardly in an instant and making him feel dizzy.

“You might be right,” Cassian says instead of trying to give voice to the sirens in his head, not wanting the anxious edge that he feels to break through, “just one more kiss, then we can both afford a nap, I think.”

“Just try not to scandalize the other passengers,” Bodhi says in cautious agreement, eyes bright when they drift back to Cassian’s lips. Cassian leans in at the assenting look, brushing his lips against Bodhi’s and meaning to leave it at a few soft seconds, even pressing a hand to Bodhi’s chest to push away. He’s surprised when Bodhi shifts closer instead, melting into it, just enough that Cassian can almost taste the sad sound in his throat. Cassian still can’t place why. He shuts his eyes and he can feel Bodhi’s breathing until-

There's a voice, someone speaking too close. He jolts away from the kiss at the feeling of a heavy hand on his shoulder. He opens his eyes, turning to apologize to whoever it is for getting so carried away but cut off in the realization that Bodhi isn’t beside him. Cassian feels lost and...Bodhi is _gone_. Cassian must have dozed off again but it feels so strange that he can’t remember. There’s an airline attendant standing in front of him with a polite smile and she speaks before he can process where Bodhi must have gotten to. Hopefully Cassian doesn’t look too dazed when he meets her eyes.

“Sorry to wake you, sir, but the flight is on it’s final boarding call, wouldn’t want you to miss it,” she says. Cassian feels relieved yet still off kilter, more awake by the moment and hoping Bodhi will return soon. But then he realizes, in stark and heartbreaking clarity, why that isn’t possible. 

“Thanks, I’ll be right up,” Cassian somehow manages to say to the woman. He hopes he doesn’t sound as strangled as his heart feels. He can still feel the solid grip of Bodhi’s hands like a phantom limb. Cassian takes a deep breath just to stop himself from panicking.

Bodhi has been missing from the house for weeks. Cassian feels raw for dreaming otherwise, knowing he has to get a hold of himself and board the plane. He hopes going home to his parents will help.


End file.
